Even today, women who choose to have both a career and family often find themselves in a precarious balancing act.
This sensitive topic was explored by Dr. Nilutparna Deori during the All India Ophthalmological Society-Young Ophthalmologists Society of India (AIOS-YOSI) Forum, held on November 25 in New Delhi, India. Her presentation, titled “Marriage, Moving and Maternity: Managing the 3 M’s in a Young Woman Ophthalmologist’s Life,” explored how a woman can thrive in her career, as well as in her family life.
According to Dr. Deori, a pediatric ophthalmologist at Sri Sankaradeva Nethralaya (India), although marriage is a blissful relationship between a man and a woman, it comes with its own set of responsibilities, including household chores and childcare. In many societies, the lion share of domestic responsibilities and childcare still falls upon the female’s shoulders.
“When male counterparts take on more household and childcare responsibilities, it will become easier for women to juggle career and home life. So, as a woman, if you have a partner who agrees and commit to pursue the same life path, values and goals, then it becomes easier for you. The most important and critical part is to have a compatible partner in terms of personality, temperament and goals,” she said.
After marriage, another phase often arrives – maternity. “Most working females avoid or delay maternity due to the fear of having to juggle a career and childcare. Those who attempt to do both may suffer from the criticism that they are not doing justice to both. There’s also the fear that they cannot be perfect mothers. The guilt comes in especially when they look at the face of their child, and it keeps increasing exponentially,” shared Dr. Deori. “So, women need to remember that they cannot be perfect. You cannot give 100 percent to both roles at the same time,” she remarked.
Furthermore, Dr. Deori said that like the title of the book by Anuranjita Kumar, Can I have it all?, many career women wonder how they can flourish both in the home and at work.
“Dr. Indra Nooyi [who is the chairman of American multinational corporation PepsiCo and was named the second most powerful woman in business by Fortune magazine in 2015] has publicly acknowledged that at some point, balancing family and work is a zero-sum game and she has chosen work, despite having a twinge of guilt that was sometimes hard to get past. Being a working woman means that you need to make adjustments, compromises and sacrifices every day, which is inevitable,” she noted.
After giving birth, some women may choose to take a career break in order to care for the child. “Taking a career break can be as fulfilling as it is daunting with its own set of challenges, including imbalances in spousal relationship, erosion of confidence and challenges of re-entry into the workplace,” she said.
“After a maternity break, some women try to move forward with support from their family. Nevertheless, moving on comes with its own challenges and obstacles as well, because after taking a career break, you may be lost, confused, and unsure of where to start,” explained Dr. Deori. “You may not know your peers, your friends may have gone ahead of you . . . and you’re not sure how to build confidence. It can be a daunting period.”
Because of this, Dr. Deori stressed the importance of planning ahead. “Sometimes, your career break can extend beyond the expected period and you need to have a backup plan. You need to keep in touch with people who are likeminded, who know your capabilities and believe that you can return to your dynamic self after a career break. Networking is not only important in academics and conferences, but also when you want to make a comeback.”
She proceeded to share some tips on what women can do during their career break to make reentry to the workplace easier and smoother.
“Freelance if you can. Teach classes for optometrists or students, or make yourself available to solo practitioners during times when someone can look after the baby,” advised Dr. Deori. She noted that doing so allows women to show in their resume that the time they took off is accounted for. It is also important to keep reading books and stay updated in subspecialties.
“It’s easy to fall into a rut. So shake off the ennui and stay motivated and focused on getting back to work when the time comes. Reevaluate and streamline. You need to look at the schedule of your child and your working hours. How you streamline your life is depending on you – whether you make a mess out of it or the most out of it. After having a child, there will be a significant shift in perspective in regards to how you treat your career,” she noted.
She also stressed the importance for women to help each other in bridging the gap of a career break.
“The statistics on working women in India shows that only two percent of women work in the healthcare sector. It is our role to bring that number up. We need to help one another to reach the podium of success,” she said.
Dr. Deori concluded her session with a quote by Hema Ravichandar, former Global Head of HR for Infosys Ltd: “Remember, dear re-entrant, that you are the same capable person you were before your break – just a little out of practice. But wiser beyond years.”
Editor’s Note: The AIOS-YOSI’s “Young Ophthalmologist – The Way Ahead” Forum was held on 25 November 2018 in New Delhi, India. Reporting for this story also took place at the AIOS-YOSI Forum.
